Beeps In The Mind

I don’t remember how long I sat beside the sea looking into the infinity. An ocean, to chillax and adore. It’s kind of meditating, calm and refreshed.  Sometimes some questions arise from nowhere but answers to them also take form from vacuum. Speaking to myself and sometimes to the sea makes me feel great which throws out lots of confusion. Questions,answers; questions,answers, a wonderful conversation between me and the sea!  

It sounds so strange sometimes to know that I feel low without any big reason to quote. But all these won’t happen all of a sudden. It usually comes once a particular threshold is reached; things which make me feel low get queued up until that threshold point. Anything that comes over it will break that pile as if a pin is pricked on to an air tight balloon. And then I know it won’t stay in my control to hold that fluid of emotions coming down. I feel good when those tear drops are sent away and with them, the blues too.    Yeah, now I feel content! ;)

It has become so natural for me now to rise up early in the morning and then go for a ride. It's been a long time since I have seen the sun rise otherwise. I was all fully immersed in sleep those days at hostel with my friends and sometimes it seems to be a competition to sleep more. I like watching the sunset too especially, standing in front of our office building. As it’s built on a hill the view is so obvious and eye catching. And watching it, I don’t know from where I get those philosophies to mutter. I love sunrise more when compared to sunset. I enjoy each ray shooting up with gold. I don’t have any fancy for gold but gold seems priceless when watching the sunrise; with a million golden rays! Rising sun is hope, delight and blessing in its very form and morning sun inspires me as it is to any living being.

I met many people, many places; everything seems to be a written puzzle note directing me to something, may be to discover something. Everything and everyone had something to offer me and I had in exchange smiles and love for them. They taught me many things, showed live demo of many instances, inspired me, corrected me and polished me. And one day they bid farewell, relocated far away from me to take a path which is different from mine. It took some time for me to get acquainted with all people who became good acquaintances and friends. But sending them off to follow the path they own was always difficult for me.  I know those were inevitable! And the next note was ready for me somewhere, and my path was changing too though I was not realizing. Of course everything happens for a reason. But the very thought of how well things are planned for us makes me feel content. Is it like any program already written like if we do this, a condition satisfy and things like that? I

I don’t remember how long I carried that name in my mind. But I very much remember me uttering it many times without a conscious effort. And now when I am about to utter the same I am pulling back my tongue because it belongs to the past, a period which cannot be retrieved. Losing that name is not a big thing but losing the voice behind it, losing that love, is not an easy thing to go through. Well I am not speaking about a name but it’s a concept which I imagined and believed in. And it’s time now, it’s high time to erase the very concept and develop a new one.   

I very much wanted to write down my thoughts these days. But I couldn't since I failed to find a fresh paper there at my hostel room and then I thought about blogging....but ya....I felt a bit lazy that time. I always like to scribble about and someday...going through those and getting wondered like is it me who wrote all those and then making some editing here and there. The funniest thing is that nowadays I am getting that impulse to write down my thoughts when I am at office. I can't help it when I feel like emptying my thoughts!And as somewhere I have written down, " Come out my thoughts, come and reside here with words put on"...I am feeling light and relaxed now. This is the real magic of words. Words are always magical to me; creating magic in me and my life!!! I just love words which takes me to god and heaven, to sky and stars, to everything that I have seen and heard & to everything that is imagined.