old// Beeps In The Mind: 2017 new//

08 May 2017

The Great Banyan Story

I was away from my blog for long four months and I finally did break the silence on 27th April! Each day I was postponing to write and even if I wrote I was reluctant to post. I was fully occupied by thoughts and missed sharing my stories. And finally I am here and need to be hooked here for the coming days. I don't want to be anymore away from blogging!

Yesterday when I saw a banyan tree, I thought of sharing this post. 

Unlike my past New Year celebrations which was normally celebrated with my family or colleagues, this New Year started from near a banyan tree in Kochi, far away from my home town, with some new acquaintances. I can't say it was great but as I said it was way too different; the people, the attitude, the mystery, the odd feeling,  the sea, the crowd and everything. Though I was trying to create smile on my face, I was going through pain and dilemma. I didn't know what to do but I was not ready to lose. I fought not only with my emotions but with others emotions too. 

What I loved the most was the banyan tree which looked at me as if it has a treasury of tales to be told. Would you believe if I say I have found stories from the laps of trees? But this banyan didn't tell me any tale. May be because it could sense my mood which humans couldn't. 

And so I revisited the place again few days after. This time the tree greeted with a smile! Trees watch us, greet us and listen to us! Why don't we do it back? -  I wonder!

Sharing here the pictures. Look at those long strong roots similar to that shown in Bahubali! Some children from our group even tried swinging holding on the hanging roots!

When we posed under the great banyan tree

Strong and tall 

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27 April 2017

Half Girlfriend - My Version

“Half “is not a word to define love coz love is something which blooms out full. We can feel it when it happens. But what made him my half boyfriend is the journey which we started together but stopped half way. When we had only half way to go, something happened all of a sudden from nowhere, which changed our fate and ended that relationship. 

It was like standing at the beach, so relaxed, when I was with him over the phone on the other side; I talked and talked until I uttered even the last word I wanted to tell him. And then I felt great when he listened and understood completely what I shared. When did I meet him? I don’t remember the exact date and time but yes, it was during one of the Onam celebrations during a time when I was busy with my studies. I don’t know what made me feel so good about him but I could feel the freshness of dawn in him, whenever we met. 

Time just flew by and we were more than friends, so comfortable with each other. Since he had seniority by two years, he left college and started working. But we didn’t fall out of love, our conversations kept on going but we never spoke about our love, to each other or rather it was already understood. I think sometimes we need to talk our heart out or else sometimes when we are dealing with the weakest of our emotions we feel like defeated.  And during those moments if we have something so sure of, then we don’t have to deeply worry about things which prick at our thought cells. 

I don’t feel like writing about it even now, years after the incident too. Life is good, but if I had that power to fight with my emotions, it would have made me write a full- relationship story, that of my boyfriend’s and not of a half girlfriend. 

But yeah, this is the story of a half relationship- the one that made me numb with guilt though I was fully innocent.  All I could do that time was to pour out my emotions as words as they came out since I was deeply upset. He couldn’t handle it too and he gave in and disappeared to nowhere.  He could have forgiven me but we can only behave like how humans do, at times. Good that we didn’t kill the relationship, half though, it’s like something that is been frozen to live but to never grow!